


Dorks Being Gross

by baconnegg



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Again, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, College, Domestic Fluff, Dorks, Dorks in Love, Fluff, Gift Fic, Littlestsecret's Modern Boys, M/M, Moving, Moving In Together, Schmoop, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-07
Updated: 2013-09-07
Packaged: 2017-12-25 22:29:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/958327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baconnegg/pseuds/baconnegg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A little housewarming gift fic for LittlestSecret, featuring her modern boys! Fili and Kili move into their second apartment, and things don't go exactly according to plan (To Fili's plan, anyway). </p>
<p>Thought I'd throw this up on AO3 and possibly expose it to some new people! If you're a Durincest fan and you haven't checked out Littlestsecret on tumblr, you really should, because her art and fics are wonderful and frequently NSFW. Her modern boys are my favourite, but she has even more to offer. Enjoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dorks Being Gross

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LittlestSecret](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittlestSecret/gifts).



It’s not much.

A living-dining room with plenty of space even after they get the couch and table in there. An open-concept kitchen with wide countertops. A cozy, but not inadequate bedroom. A balcony with a decent view and enough room for two folding chairs and a cooler. A washer and dryer included, oddly, in the front hallway closet. Nothing grand about it, really.

But it’s _theirs_. 

Not theirs forever, but for now, it’s perfect. Five stories up. Close enough to UMN that Kili doesn’t have too far to commute. Plumbing and utilities all working. New, light grey paint. No weird stain in the bathroom sink that never comes out no matter how much bleach you use. Reasonable rent. Hell, even air conditioning. It’s just _perfect_. 

Unfortunately, the journey didn’t match the destination. Daydreaming about the homey little details promised in the ad did nothing to assuage the nail-biting paperwork and standard travel stress. Not to mention that everything else that could go wrong, did go wrong.

They had somehow seemed to accumulate twice the amount of stuff they’d moved in with, in only two years and on student budgets. Trips to the dumpster and thrift store made only a small dent. Rain poured down when they had to load everything into the truck, then it was blistering hot for the entire trip following. They were detoured by construction not once, but three times. Finally, they’d woken up at the crack of dawn in a scuzzy motel room, and started hauling all their possessions into their new apartment. “We’re healthy, fit, young guys,” they’d said. “Hiring movers would be a waste of money,” they’d said.

Now they’re sitting on the hardwood floor of their new bedroom, surrounded by wood and screws, having consistently failed to put a bedframe together for a solid hour.

“You know,” Kili says distractedly, furrowing his brow at the palm-sized manual, as well as the smell of tiger balm that filled the room. “I’m starting to think the person who wrote this never actually saw the thing we‘re supposed to make.”

“We’ll figure it out eventually,” Fili says tightly. He’s staring down several joints and panels, hoping to divine their secrets. “I have a college degree, this can’t be this hard.”

“Do you wanna look at the diagram again?” Kili holds the booklet out when Fili seizes two pieces and holds them together, pursing his lips.

“I’ve already looked at it fifteen times. Pass me that bag of screws, will you?”

Fili can see Kili pout out of the corner of his eye. “Don’t need to snap at me, I didn’t design the stupid thing.”

“I wasn’t snapping at you.” Fili retorts, taking the bag and fishing his penknife out of the rear pocket of his shorts.

“Sure sounded like snapping to me.” Oh, there’s that tone. And he’s folding his arms too, fuck’s sakes. This has been weeks in the making. A stupid fight brought on by built-up stress that neither of them would be willing to end. Of course Kili would be the one to start it on their first day in the new-

Preoccupied by his thoughts, Fili fumbles the knife and slices open his left index finger. Not deep or especially long, but enough to smart and tip over the vat of frustration simmering in his mind.

“ _Fuck!_ That’s it!” Fili throws the things down, screws spilling everywhere and open blade nicking the hardwood floor. “I’m done! I’ve had enough!”

He storms into the adjacent bathroom and slams the door shut behind him. He washes out the cut as if it’s the thing that’s been causing him two months of headaches, then takes a cotton ball and band-aid from the dollar store first aid kit sitting on the counter. It was Kili’s idea of preventative medicine for inevitable moving injuries. Fili is grateful, then deeply embarrassed.

He glances in the mirror at his patchy red face and immediately looks away, focusing on wrapping the adhesive cloth around his finger. He’d just gotten upset,-no, he’d thrown a goddamn tantrum because Kili got a little snarky with him and he nicked his finger. How old was he again?

“Auuugh,” Fili groans, rubbing the heels of his hands over his eyes. This was supposed to be a big exciting step, and he goes and makes an ass of himself on the very first day. Well done. Standing ovation and bouquets of roses for you, Fili. You complete fucking idiot.

Fili hears the bathroom door open and leaves his hands covering his eyes. Can’t he be mortified in private? He feels bare arms slide slowly around his middle, and scruffy stubble brush against the back of his neck. “Hey, drama queen, how’s the hand?”

“Fine.” Fili drops his hands, balling them at mid-chest. “I’m really sorry about that. It’s just, with the moving and the transferring and everything, I feel like I haven’t sat still in weeks. And I’m just feeling really wound-up, but that was stupid and I should have,-“

“Hey,” Kili interrupts, lips against Fili’s hair. “Deep breath, yeah?”

Fili inhales a little shakily, and lets out a deep breath he didn’t know he was holding back. “I’m sorry for freaking out.”

“It’s alright.” Kili’s hands slide up, covering Fili’s and rubbing them with his thumbs. He presses closer, and the warm press of his body is welcome in the cooled air of the bathroom. Fili leans back, smiling slightly at the touch of Kili’s bare legs on his. “I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner. You’ve been doing pretty much everything on your own and barely letting me help.”

Fili’s smile disappears and he very consciously refuses to look up at the mirror. “I’m sorry, I just…I wanted things to be perfect, you know? Our old place was practically a dorm, it was so shitty. I wanted this one to be good, to be a real home. Now we’re finally here, and you’re starting school next week, and it’s six o’clock at night and we don’t have a bed,-“

“Breathe,” Kili enjoins and Fili obeys. The younger man moves from nuzzling blonde hair to rest his chin on his brother’s shoulder. “I don’t care if we sleep in a fucking pillow fort for the next ten years, as long as there’s enough space to have sex and we’re together. That’s what important, right?”

“Right.” Fili sighs, not able to manage a smile at Kili’s cheekiness. “I wanted this to be fun and exciting, and instead my last nerve is hanging by a thread.”

“I can see that. You look like you’re on the verge of a migraine.” Kili’s hands rub soothingly over Fili’s arms and he presses a soft kiss to his bearded cheek. “Here’s an idea. Why don’t you take a nice, hot shower while I order some Chinese, and I’ll keep working on the bed until the food shows up. Sound good?”

“I can’t,” Fili moans, dropping his head back against Kili’s shoulder. “We threw out our shower curtain and forgot to buy a new one!”

“Right.” Kili drawls, sounding not the least bit sympathetic to one of their many moving tragedies. “A bath it is, then.”

“So I sit and soak while you keep working?” Fili mumbles, craning his neck to look at Kili incredulously. “We haven’t even found the towels, for fuck’s sake.”

“Hush, playing around with a bedframe never killed anyone. Get undressed.” Kili pecks his cheek, pats his sides affectionately, and is gone. Fili happens to glance at the mirror and notices the high colour still refusing to leave his face. With a resigned shrug, he peels off his clothes and fills the tub.

The warm water feels good on his strained joints, and it is nice to stretch out after a long day of lifting, carrying, and sitting in awkward, cramped positions. Kili returns and sets a towel on the toilet seat, then starts running a washcloth under the sink faucet.

“What, you didn’t bring me a book?”

“No!” Kili says with a derisive snort, eyes on the steam rising off the cloth. “You’re just going to sit in here, relax, and focus on not being a sad little drama princess anymore.”

“Now who’s being snappy,” Fili says with a wide smirk. That gets the hot washcloth dropped directly on his face. “Jerk.”

“Love you!” Kili says in an exaggerated trill, grinning at his brother before flicking off the light and shutting the door behind him.

Fili sighs again, fondly this time. He stretches out in the surprisingly spacious bathtub, getting himself comfortable and enjoying the heat of the water. The room is surprisingly soundproof. Whatever Kili might be doing to that accursed bedframe, all Fili can hear is the slight slosh of water and his own breathing. In the subduing darkness, he spreads the steamed washcloth properly over his face and tries to recall a set of de-stressing techniques he read in a book once. Or did he have a seminar on them freshman year? Doesn’t matter…

Fili jolts up when the buzzer goes off, a blast of noise that reaches every corner of the apartment. He doesn’t remember nodding off. The water’s gone tepid, but not uncomfortably so. Drowsiness weighs him down, he doesn’t even bother to push away the washcloth that’s dropped into a cool pile on his chest. Kili will come get him in a little bit. He can rest his eyes for a few minutes more…

A few minutes pass, or maybe fifteen. Fili is vaguely aware of the bathroom door opening and familiar footsteps, but he doesn’t open his eyes until he hears joints clunking against tile and porcelain. Sure enough, Kili’s kneeling beside the tub, head resting on his folded arms. Lit from behind by the open door, he looks awfully inviting despite visible sweatstains in his t-shirt, ruffled hair, and overgrown stubble.

“Hey.” Fili’s tongue is thick with sleep. “Did the food come?”

“Yeah.” Kili’s eyes are soft, focused on Fili’s face. He reaches his hand out and runs loose fingers through Fili’s hair. “You’re so cute, Fee.”

“I doubt that.” Fili chuckles, leaning into Kili’s touch, but straightening up from laying limply against the side. “I sure wasn’t cute earlier. Or for most of today. Or any of these past several days, actually.”

“Forget about that, love.” Kili says in a hushed voice, pulling Fili close enough to kiss. “You’re cute now.” They both lean into it, greedily nibbling lips and sliding tongues. Fili’s hands slide into Kili’s cropped, fluffy hair at the same time Kili grabs his shoulders to press him even closer.

The tension and goings-on of the past few days means they haven’t even lent themselves a hand, let alone attempted anything with each other. And they’ve missed it, so much. The porcelain wall between them is a minor distraction as they swallow each other’s moans and grab at each other, heedless of their aching knees. They’re gasping and pulling at each other, when Kili yanks his shirt off. He pulls impossibly close as they seal their mouths together and his hands slides down Fili’s slick belly.

“Oh!” Fili’s surprise is muffled by Kili’s lips. He twitches back, but leaves his arms wrapped loosely around Kili’s back. “Sorry, Kee.”

“It’s alright,” Kili smiles and sets his lips to the hinge of Fili’s jaw. “If you’re tired, we can just eat and go to bed. I got it together by the way, mattress and all. I don’t know how but I did it.”

“Oh, that’s fantastic. I love you.” Fili hugs him close and presses a tickling kiss to his neck. “You didn’t short sheet it, did you?”

“No, but the temptation was there.” Kili laughs, muffled by his lover’s bare shoulder. “It’s waiting for us whenever we’re ready.”

“Awesome,” Fili breathes, feeling somehow entirely unwound. “’Cause I was kind of hoping, well, I wanted our first time in the new place to be in our bed.” He runs a self-conscious hand through his hair. “That’s a bit silly, isn’t it?”

“Not at all! I think it’s sweet.” Kili soothes as he leans over to pull the plug on the tub. “If you’d told me earlier, that bed would have been put together hours ago! Let’s go eat before we break in our new bed, hm?”

“Mm, sounds good.” Fili’s eyes shut at Kili’s teasing kiss, but then snap open as he groans. “Oh, but there’s all those boxes in the living room we haven’t even looked at yet, and we’ve got a bunch of other things to do tomorrow!”

“So what? Will the Grown-up Police will kick down our door if we don’t unpack in the space of one day?” Kili arches an eyebrow at his brother, grabbing the towel and wrapping it around Fili’s shoulders before kissing him again. “We’ll get it done, Fee. I think we deserve to relax for one night.”

“Just when I thought you’d turned into the mature one,” Fili murmurs, shaking his head and accepting Kili’s hand to help him up. “Alright. One night of procrastination won’t kill us.”

“That’s the spirit!” Kili steals another deep kiss, wrapping his arms around Fili’s waist and lifting him out of the tub, ignoring his protests.

***

Much later, Kili notices the band-aid is miraculously still on Fili’s finger and giggles, pressing a kiss to it. “Hey, Fili?”

“Mhmm?” Fili hums into the pillows, fighting with every blink to keep his eyes open. “What?”

Kili’s dark eyes shine in the dim light filtering through the edge of the blinds “I’m really, really happy to be here with you.”

“Dork.” Fili mumbles, dragging himself over to wind his limbs around his bedmate. “Me too.”

**_ FIN _ **


End file.
